Upset and stressed bride
Dabl At Home Dec 2020
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Dabl at Home

12 Pieces of Wedding Advice You Don’t Have To Listen To

While lots of well-meaning loved ones will have must-do tips for your wedding, you won’t ruin your special day if you don’t take all of the advice.

When it comes to wedding planning, it certainly seems like everyone and their mother has an opinion about every little detail. But we have news for you: this is your wedding day, not anyone else’s. So while you can ask trusted friends and family members for advice, you don’t need to take any of it if it isn’t right for you and your betrothed. With this in mind, here is some of the most common wedding advice we are seeing in 2022 that you can ignore without ruining your wedding. 

There is nothing wrong with having a weekday wedding.

Many people turn their noses up at the idea of a weekday wedding. They say the party won’t be as fun and guests won’t stay as long if you get married on a work night or school night. But with the right people and planning, weekday weddings can still be a blast! And now that the wedding boom and rising inflation are making wedding planning more expensive and competitive in 2022, having a weekday wedding is often a budget-friendly choice. 

You can do your own hair and makeup.

When a bride says she wants to do her own hair and makeup, she’s often met with looks of horror and told that it will ruin her wedding pictures. However, this isn’t necessarily true. Many women are extremely talented at doing their own makeup and will look stunning on their wedding day without any extra help. If you are confident in your hair and makeup abilities, don’t let anyone tell you no if that’s what you want to do. It can be a great decision if you know what you like and want to save money. 

But if the budget is the only reason keeping you from hiring a hair and makeup artist for your wedding, be aware that you don’t need to pay for everyone. These services can be extremely expensive, so if money is tight you only need to pay for your own look. If others would like their hair and makeup professionally done, they can pay for themselves. Just make sure to communicate this decision clearly upfront so everyone in the wedding party is on the same page.

It’s perfectly acceptable to ask for cash as a wedding gift.

In the past, many engaged couples didn’t live together until after their wedding day. For these newlyweds, having a registry of household essentials for when they moved in together was extremely useful. But in today’s day and age, this type of registry is a bit outdated unless there are things you genuinely want or need. If you want to take a more modern approach to wedding gifts, know that there is nothing wrong with asking for cash.  

Your guests love you and want to get you a gift that you really want or need. For many young couples, that cash helps them achieve big financial goals like buying their first house or paying off student loans. It can also be put toward paying for a dream honeymoon vacation. If cash is what you and your future spouse really want or need, there is nothing impolite about telling that to your wedding guests. 

You don’t actually need to book a wedding venue right away.

As couples begin planning their future wedding, they are typically encouraged to book a wedding venue as soon as possible. This allows them to plan knowing when and where their wedding will take place. Especially with increased competition and demand for wedding venues, the most popular locations have been booking up fast and far in advance, putting extra pressure on couples to make venue decisions quickly. 

However, it’s also important to pause, take a deep breath, and think. If you rush into booking a wedding venue due to pressure, you might end up blowing more of your wedding budget than you intended or could choose a venue that isn’t actually right for the goal of your celebration. Make sure you take the time to be certain that you’ve found the right wedding venue and remember that what is meant to be will be. If your dream venue gets booked while you are deliberating, it just means a better option is still out there waiting for you. 

It’s not mandatory to hire a wedding planner. 

Ironically, a wedding planner recently shared that hiring a wedding planner isn’t really necessary. While having a professional wedding planner on your team might make the planning process go more smoothly or promote more organization, your wedding won’t be ruined if you decide to plan it all by yourself. Our only advice is to have responsibilities assigned to trusted friends or family members on your wedding day so you can be stress-free on the day of. There’s nothing wrong with having a wedding planner if you want one, but anyone who insists you absolutely need one is likely trying to sell you something. 

It’s not rude to make your wedding a child-free affair. 

Couples who opt for childless weddings often get some pushback from guests who happen to be parents. This is because parents often have to find childcare for their kids, which can be a hassle and a financial burden. That said, you are not being rude or burdensome by deciding you don’t want kids to be at your wedding. Through no fault of their own, kids can be disruptive and might interrupt your ceremony or important moments at the reception. They also might just get bored.

Ultimately, it’s much better to politely ask guests not to bring their children with enough time for them to make arrangements than to resent them because they brought their little ones on your wedding day. As long as you give advance notice, are polite, and don’t make exceptions for some guests but not others, everyone should understand. But if you are feeling particularly guilty about your choice, you could meet parents halfway by providing childcare at a secure location at the venue or in a nearby hotel with a vetted babysitter. 

You CAN keep rehearsal dinners small. 

Contrary to popular opinion, it’s okay to keep your guest list for your rehearsal dinner extra exclusive. At it’s core, the point of the rehearsal dinner is to have a small, pre-celebration with the members of the wedding party after the ceremony rehearsal. But in recent years, some rehearsal dinners have turned into expensive mini weddings with expansive guest lists. If you like the idea of having a pre-wedding before your big day, then that’s great! But if you’d prefer a smaller and more intimate affair, that is perfectly fine, too! 

You don’t need to have a wedding cake. 

Of all the wedding traditions, cutting the cake is probably one of the things couples look forward to most at their receptions. However, not everybody likes cake. Considering the average wedding cake can cost more than $1,000, some couples don’t want to shell out the cash for something they won’t really enjoy. If this sounds like you, it’s time to get creative with dessert tables, cupcake displays, donut walls, ice cream, or other sweet treats! 

You aren’t failing at adulting if your parents help pay for things. 

According to tradition, the family of the bride is responsible for handling the wedding budget. That said, there is no right or wrong answer for who pays for what at the wedding. The best thing you can do is sit down with the contributing family members to figure out the budget and set clear expectations early in the planning process. 

That said, some brides and grooms-to-be feel like they are failing if they let their families pay for their weddings. In an ideal world, every couple could afford to pay for their own wedding and have complete control over the planning process. But in our reality where weddings cost tens of thousands of dollars and inflation is rising, it’s not usually practical or possible for couples to throw their dream weddings without some financial help. If your family is happy to help pay, don’t feel bad about accepting their contributions. 

You still have to be careful with the guest list when hosting a destination wedding.

Destination weddings are often the ultimate celebration, shared with the people you love the most. However, it’s important that you only invite the people you truly want to be there. Many couples have made the mistake of inviting people to their destination wedding because they thought these guests wouldn’t make the trip. Your guests may surprise you, so make sure you don’t invite anyone who would disappoint you by showing up. 

There is nothing wrong with assigned seating.

Although assigned seating can add an extra level of organization to a large-scale event, some couples feel weird about implementing a seating chart. They worry that it might make their guests feel awkward or hurt the flow of the party. While you have to do what’s right for your celebration, seating charts are generally a good idea as long as you put some thought into who should sit where. For tips on making your wedding seating chart, click here! 

Don’t do anything that doesn’t feel right to you.

At the end of the day, this is YOUR wedding. You should have a vision and idea of what you want your wedding to be. When you are planning your wedding, you will know in your gut if something fits or just isn’t right. We know it can be difficult to say no to advice, especially when it comes from well-meaning loved ones who might even be helping to pay for your wedding. Even so, there are ways to show you heard the advice and politely decline without ruffling any feathers. Just remember to trust your instincts and be kind. 

Want more wedding tips and tricks? Visit our Dabl Wedding Hub

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